I have always loved the winter. As a child growing up in New England, I spent hours upon hours outside sledding, ice skating, building snow forts, or just laying in the snow. Frostbite was as common as a skinned knee in my world, and I loved it. I still do. I love the crisp air just before a snow storm. I love naked trees blanketed in a layer of snow. I love how falling snow makes the even the darkest night seem brighter somehow. But the best part about a really great storm now is having my little family safe and warm inside while nature does what it is meant to do outside.  

Admittedly, Bruce and I are a bit freakish in that we love severe weather. We love watching the news and seeing how powerful weather can be. Whether it’s Geraldo hanging on to a tree in the midst of a hurricane, or the local newscasters reporting from the field during a snow storm, we just can’t get enough of it! It’s not that I enjoy seeing people suffer, but rather I am reminded that there are forces much more powerful than human beings out there. 

My little patio

As a teacher, I never had much cause to worry about being out and about in the middle of a crazy snow storm. There is no greater gift for a teacher than a snow day. It is the one time when the work has already been completed. It’s a bonus day, which usually was spent grading papers or trying to get ahead on my planning. When I was working on my Master Degree, I swear Mother Nature was in my corner because it seemed as though every time I had a massive project or paper due, she came through with a snow day for me to focus entirely on that. The only way to make a snow day better for a teacher is for it to fall on a Friday or a Monday! 

Naked trees blanketed in snow. My favorite.

This week, the media was hyper-focused on preparations for “The Blizzard of 2015”. Even though I’m no longer working as a teacher, I still got excited watching the school closings and early dismissals. Why? Old habits die hard. I used to always watch for my school district’s closing on the news, even though I had been informed by the “snow chain” that school was closed. I have no idea why. But I did the same thing with this storm as I did every single time for the 15 years that I was a teacher. I’m not sure that I will ever stop this little ritual, but I’m ok with that. It’s a reminder of my past life, and it’s one that I embrace. 

Warm inside while the storm happens outside!

These days, snow days mean something very different. They mean that Bruce works from home. They mean that I can rest peacefully knowing he is safe and not on the roads. They mean that he holes up in the office, and I am comforted by the sound of his voice resonating from behind the closed door. They mean that we “meet” for lunch and then he’s back to work. They mean that when he finally emerges from the office at the end of the day, we always joke about the “rough commute” from the office. Predictable, yes. But I giggle every time. 

Paw prints in the snow

Nowadays, I don’t spend snowdays playing outside, but I do appreciate the beauty of the snow, and how the universe constantly reminds me what “powerful” really means. As long as my little family is safe at home, I’m prepared to weather any storm.  

The aftermath

It happens every year. People all over the world vow to make changes for the better in the upcoming year. The first thing my dad asked me when we spoke for the first time in 2015 was if I had any resolutions for myself. I told him that I stopped making resolutions for myself years ago.

Why wouldn’t I want to make resolutions to better myself each year? The reason I stopped was because many of the things I wanted to do were too easily derailed by circumstances beyond my control. It seemed that every time I made some progress on my resolutions, MS poked its mighty head in, reminding me that my body is no longer my own. As a goal-oriented person, I know that goals must be something to reach for, but that they always must be attainable. When I set a goal for myself, the perfectionist in me would never allow for failure. The result was a whole lot of self-disappointment when I failed.

It’s not a bad thing to have learned this though. I never wait until New Year’s Day to start something that I really want to achieve. Why wait for a new year to make self-improvements? I no longer make resolutions. Instead, I make just one promise to myself. I promise to be kind to myself. I have plenty of kindness for others, yet I do not treat myself well all the time. In my world, being kind to myself includes many things, all of which are important yet they are often difficult to remember.

First, and most importantly, I promise to take it easy on myself. I can’t accomplish tasks and chores as easily as my able-bodied peers. My house may not always be the cleanest, my refrigerator may not always me fully stocked, and my “to-do” list may not always be finished. I promise that I will not be disappointed in myself when those things happen, but instead be understanding and know that tomorrow is another day.

Also, I promise to do things that make me feel good, both physically as well as emotionally. When I eat well, I feel well. I promise to feed my body with the proper fuel to keep it running to the best of its capacity. I will do everything in my power to attend the Strength and Balance, Spin, and TRX classes that are available to me because staying strong is the only weapon I have at my disposal in this war against MS.

Spin class, also known to us as the torture chamber!

Fueling my body with all good stuff.

Finally, I promise to surround myself with people who are equally as optimistic as I am. I will not waste energy on people who are not supportive and understanding, or those who are judgmental of me, and the decisions I have made. I will not allow the negativity of others to affect me on my journey towards accepting this new life of mine.

If you have made New Year’s resolutions in the past, and you’ve been disappointed in yourself if you didn’t follow through, I urge you to re-evaluate your position like I did. Just make one promise: be kind to yourself. I promise you will not regret it.