Monthly Archives: September 2014

The healing power of pets

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When I was growing up, we always had at least one dog. I never really realized how much a part of my life they were until I was living on my own without any four-legged family members. As a young adult, nothing was sweeter than going “home” and getting those puppy cuddles I missed so much.

Shortly after we purchased our first home, I decided it was time to introduce my non-animal-loving, never-had-a-pet husband to the joy of having a pet. I fell in love with my Mookie (formerly Amigo), a 3 – 5 year-old Chihuahua, the second I saw his little face on Petfinder. He was abused and abandoned, and although we did not know it at the time, he suffered from seizure disorder. He was fearful of everyone and everybody, except me. For other people in my life, he was a difficult dog to love because he was skittish and unpredictable. I found myself defending him more often than not, because his behavior was a result of a lifetime of abuse. I knew that in a loving environment he would be a completely different dog. He and my husband, Bruce, did not care for each other much at first, but eventually they became buddies.

Mookie, as he began to feel comfortable in his forever home with us.

Mookie, as he began to feel comfortable in his forever home with us.

Mookie was my loyal little soldier who saw me through many rough times. He was at my side through 3 surgeries; full of snuggles and kisses as I recovered. When I started presenting with crazy symptoms that eventually led to my diagnosis of MS, I sought comfort in his unconditional love. At this particularly scary point in my life, panic attacks plagued me but Mookie eased my anxiety. He made our little family complete, and he made our house feel like a home. He even was at my side when we sold our house and lived in a hotel for 21 weeks (and one day!) while our new house was being built. Bringing him home after we finally moved in was like coming full circle, and he really was a totally different dog than that frightened little guy he once was.

As we started settling into our much larger home, we decided it was time to give Mookie a sibling. Enter: Marty (formerly Acho and Possum), a 5 – 8 year-old albino Chihuahua. I fell in love with him in the exact same way as I had with Mookie. I saw him on Petfinder, read his story, and knew he was the one. Marty had a traumatic past, full of physical pain as he endured treatment for heartworm. He did not know how to give or receive love, but there was something about him that I loved. He never wagged his tail or picked up a toy. Bruce, now a true animal lover, would often comment that 1) we run a home for misfit dogs and 2) why would we take the dogs that everyone else wants?

Marty was a joyless pup, who is just now starting to express happiness and show love.

Marty was a joyless pup, who is just now starting to express happiness and show love.

These two never actually liked each other, but they tolerated each other well.

These two never actually liked each other, but they tolerated each other well.

Sadly, Mookie crossed the Rainbow Bridge a few months after Marty joined us. He gave us 12 years of pure joy, and his paw prints will be on my heart forever. Now we have added Scarlet (formerly Katie), a 6 year-old auburn Chihuahua, to the mix. She was surrendered to her vet after being used for breeding, and if you met her, you’d know why they bred her! She is beautiful, sweet, friendly, and incredibly affectionate. She is an equal-opportunity love-bug. She goes to whoever is going to shower her with the most affection. She actually smiles and my friend, Jodi, swears she’ll have arthritis in her butt from wagging her tail so much! It melts my heart when I see Marty wagging his tail because she is teaching him how to feel joy.

This is Scarlet's famous smile.

This is Scarlet’s famous smile.

Our family is complete for now. Regardless of how I’m feeling when I come home, I always smile when they come running towards me with their tails wagging. I can never be sad when I am sandwiched in between my two babies. When I am sick, they help me feel better just by sitting next to me. Their whole world revolves around making me happy. They love me, and they don’t care whether I am fat, skinny, ugly, beautiful, or anything else. They know who I am and how I love them, and that’s why they love me. It’s ironic to me that so many people in my life could learn a very valuable lesson on humanity from my little Chihuahuas.

How could anyone give up on all of this cuteness?

How could anyone give up on all of this cuteness?

Wellness

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Wellness is something that I didn’t always think about. I was always very fitness-oriented, and of course I was concerned about my health. Before I was diagnosed with MS, the word wellness was not even a part of my vernacular. On June 2, 2003 (at approximately 1:15 in the afternoon), my vocabulary expanded when I got my very first lesson on MS.

In the world of Multiple Sclerosis, the word “wellness” is often on the forefront of just about every discussion. Wellness refers not just to physical wellness that includes exercise, but also to mental and emotional wellness. In other words, taking care of “body and soul” are equally as important because each complements the other.

Last December, I did the best thing I could have done for myself when I enrolled in a 12 week “Wellness Program” offered through the MS Center where I am a patient. I have always wanted to participate in this program in the past, but it couldn’t happen while I was working because it required committing to weekly classes from 9 am – 2 pm. I know for sure that the universe works in mysterious ways because I was on a waiting list, and someone backed out at the very last minute, opening a space for me.

My life was changed forever after I met the other people who were in the class with me. Each week, professionals spoke to us about topics ranging from spirituality, to Reiki, to nutrition, and beyond. We practiced Tai Chi, Yoga, Aquatic Therapy, and Strength and Balance. Together we made a commitment to our overall wellness. Together we committed to finally do the right things for our bodies. Together we grieved for our past lives. Together we formed a bond far more profound than any of us had anticipated. The 12 weeks went quickly, but we have all managed to keep in close contact. We have “reunions” as often as we can, because after those 12 weeks together, it was hard to imagine a week without being together!

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One of the benefits to participating in the Wellness Program is the wide variety of “graduate” classes offered to us including Yoga, Aquatics, and Strength and Balance. When I began attending those classes, I met a whole new group of people who also had been through the program over the several years that it has been running. Twice a week, every week, we attend grueling exercise classes led by a fitness instructor who is passionate about us and our wellness, and who isn’t afraid to push each of us to our own personal limits. We support each other and encourage each other during the classes, but also on a personal level. We all have the connection that is MS but somehow these classes seem to bring us closer. I am inspired by all of these women every single week. Each of us is at our own individual level but when I see how hard the others are working, I am inspired to work harder. I honestly have never met a more dedicated or genuine group of ladies. I adore them, and I find that the longer I have known them, the earlier I arrive to class, and the later I stay and spend time because it just feels good.

the ladies

When I first made the commitment to my wellness last year, I had no idea that I would benefit in so many ways. I knew I would benefit physically because I am committed to the exercise classes. What I did not expect (and what I am eternally grateful for) is the amazing support system that came along with it. When I was at an extremely low place in my life, my MS family found me and built me up stronger than I thought I could be. The reason for our connection sucks, but I am so glad that they have been woven into the fabric of my life. It’s much more colorful since they’ve been around!

Sunflowers

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One of my favorite parts of this new life of mine is that I get to spend quality time with some IMG_8197of my favorite people. Eleven years ago I met an amazing woman, and I didn’t know then that she would become such an important part of my life. Liz’s son was in my class. Let’s just say that language was not exactly his strong suit, but he was adorable and sweet, and I loved him. I stayed in close contact with Liz because she would bring him to me at 6 am for “extra help”, which really consisted of doing little jobs for me (such as decorating my bulletin boards) in exchange for extra credit. This was not a usual occurrence for me because I am usually a rule girl, but there was something about this kid. He stole my heart, for sure!

My friendship with Liz started the same way it did with the very few parents of my former students, who I am lucky enough to call friends. It’s not the norm at all. But sometimes there is an instant connection that can’t be denied, especially since we are all practically the same age. It’s almost a formula: they love their children, and I love my students. Therefore, they love me because I love their children so much, and I love them for being supportive and involved. It makes perfect sense!IMG_8273

Liz is an inspiration to me every single day. She has been through the unimaginable, yet she is a pillar of strength and positivity. She also retired early and unexpectedly so our bond is definitely stronger now than before I retired. I have come to count on our weekly visits because I always feel much more grounded after we spend time together.

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Last week, we were both feeling the same way with the start of the school year. She, too, worked in the public school system so we were feeling equally empty considering that our former worlds were going on without us. We discovered several months back that we both LOVE sunflowers, and we decided to get as far away as possible by making our way to Augusta, NJ to see the Sunflower Mazes.

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It definitely was a trek! But it was worth it. If you want to know what happiness is, picture a beautiful summer day, sunflowers as far as the eye can see, and the comfort of a dear friend. It doesn’t get much better. We took a combined 400 photos, and could have taken many more.

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My biggest takeaway from the first day of school this year was the following: just because something is different, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be equally as awesome… just in a different way. As much as I was aching to be back at school like the old days, I wouldn’t have traded my day with Liz and the sunflowers for anything. I know that it’s all about appreciating the simple pleasures in life and being present in the moment. As much as I loved going back to school each year, there was not a single first day of school that stood out in my memory until this year! I am very grateful to Liz for finally giving me a first day of school that I’ll never forget.

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Building Relationships

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Yesterday I purposely packed my schedule full from morning until night. I knew I was going to be on an emotional roller coaster thinking about all of my colleagues heading back to school, and the best thing to keep my mind off of things was to keep myself busy. This definitely was a smart idea, but MS can’t appreciate the reasoning behind why I did it, and I surely will pay the price as the week goes on!

Actually, the way my day unfolded was absolutely perfect. Last week, I tried to make plans with some of my favorite students, all rising seniors. We had to cancel and reschedule, and I unknowingly set the date for yesterday, without even realizing that this was the very date of the district “convocation”. As my former co-workers began the school year together, I was spending time with some amazing former students. I met these students when they were just freshmen, all interviewing to be a part of the AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) Elective Class that I was chosen to teach. AVID is a “global nonprofit organization dedicated to closing the achievement gap by preparing all students for college and other postsecondary opportunities” by “training educators to use proven practices in order to prepare students for success in high school, college, and a career, especially students traditionally underrepresented in higher education” (www.avid.org). It’s not a typical class, and as such, the relationships are much different than the typical teacher/student one, and the bonds between us are much stronger. In fact, in AVID training, they often refer to the teacher as the “AVID mom (or dad)”.

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What I thought about most yesterday was relationships. I started thinking that the least important thing I ever taught my students was the curriculum. If curriculum content was what my students most learned from me, then my Spanish students would be speaking fluently and my AVID students would all be going to Princeton or Harvard.

The saddest part is that the most valuable lessons I have ever taught my students are not quantifiable in the least, and in this age of data and numbers, there is no longer room to teach the most essential lessons of all. I am the one who many came to when they needed a hug because they didn’t get hugged ever at home. This is taboo, but I am human and I am a nurturer. I am the one that many students connected with because they, too, have obstacles to overcome, related to their health or otherwise. Only very rarely did I have disruptive students because my classroom was an environment of mutual respect, and no one could ever dispute the fact that I only ever wanted the very best for my students. Many can tell you stories of how I went well above and beyond the role of teacher and played the role of something far greater. Some may have thought I did too much, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

If I didn’t put myself out there for my students, I wouldn’t have all of these remarkable people in my life. I have been included in some very special occasions celebrating my former students: bridal showers, baby showers, weddings, birthday parties, graduation parties, and much more. As they have “grown up” they have transitioned from ”student” to “human” and our connection continues to grow. Parents of former students have even become some of my very best friends, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world!I am happy to say that although it was extremely hard thinking about school going on without me, I am fortunate that I had the opportunity to be surrounded by so many awesome kids while I was a teacher. To paraphrase something a wise woman told me yesterday, I am sad that it’s over but I smile because I have memories (and adopted “children”) to last a lifetime. Quantify that!