So there is an activewear subscription box that people are loving, the price is great, and I’d love to be able to get it. There are not many subscription boxes for bigger people, and even Yoga Club Box, which I had an affiliate partnership with, stopped stocking my size… unless I wanted long sleeves (which I can’t work out in since I am heat intolerant), or tank tops, which I am very self-conscious in. I’m not going to name this box, but the outfits are adorable and I’d love to wear them. However, they are not size inclusive.
When I see their ads come up on Instagram or Facebook, I always comment about them not offering extended sizing. Usually I get a lot of likes from other people who feel the same way as I do: excluded because they do not fit into the societal standard of what the female body “should” be. I feel it’s my duty to let these companies know that we come in all shapes and sizes, and being non-inclusive alienates a large percentage of the population. I firmly believe that there is money to be made on us bigger-bodied, active women who want cute outfits just like our thinner counterparts. Once I make my comment about size-inclusivity, that’s where it usually ends.
Except this past weekend. I made my usual comment on their ad (on Instagram) and got my usual likes from others who support my reasoning. However, in addition to the usual likes, someone tagged me in a post by someone else that stated something to the effect that there is no need to extend sizing, it can just be motivation for bigger people to lose weight so they, too, can get a subscription. This did not sit well with me.
The post that started it.
As I rolled this info around my head for a bit, I had a few thoughts that I could not shake. One was that the other girl tagged me. I think she sees that I always comment on this company’s ads and she wanted me to see how ridiculous a comment that was. And while I normally don’t engage with people like this clearly perfect female specimen, I (after being super cranky because I had a bad MS day and I was frustrated), felt the need to stand up to this kind of mindset that is far too common among women particularly.
So this woman decided to share her wisdom, although when I asked her where she earned her degrees from she didn’t answer, especially when she said that getting smaller is “more healthier”, something this language lover ran with. She insisted that there’s no such thing as bigger frames, thicker bones, or medical reasons why someone might not be able to attain the perfect body that she clearly has. She then made it obvious to me when she said something like, “Wait are you big boned, muscular, or do you suffer chronic illnesses? I’m so confused!” I know you are honey. Because your tiny little brain can’t understand that none of those things are mutually exclusive of the other, and that none of these are reasons for a company to not be size-inclusive, which is how I ended it…
But not before she stalked my feed (which I don’t mind at all), and proceeded to talk about my “flabby body” and the “sag in my arm and belly.” Then she said “ok you do you, boo!” (which I did not appreciate but ignored because you just can’t fix stupid). Clearly not an ounce of compassion to be had, and kindness must not exist in her world.
This is the photo that sparked the comments about my flab and sags.
So I left it where I said, and told her to take good care of herself. Like I said, I normally do not engage with trolls like this, but her ignorance was palpable and I felt the need, not just for me but on behalf of the girl who tagged me and all the bigger bodies out there, to school her. I must have done well because she did not respond further. I already gave her more energy than she deserved, but I felt she needed to hear what I had to say.
Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. How is anyone supposed to make progress on a weight loss journey if they aren’t given some grace? We are ostracized for being bigger, and not supported on a journey to get smaller because people like Ms. Perfect can’t see the big picture. Just like this activewear subscription box. As a big girl, I love it when I have cute outfits to wear for working out, and it’s motivating to feel like you look cute while doing it. But it just doesn’t happen often enough because not everyone is size-inclusive.
No weight loss journey happens healthily overnight. These pictures were taken 6 years apart to the day. I will forever be a work in progress and I am ok with that.
The simple truth is that we are given this vessel that we occupy and it’s temporary. Think of a pitcher of water, a glass of water, and a thimble of water. All are different shapes and sizes. But what’s inside? Water. All the same! When will society understand this point? What we are inside is the important part. And as Bryan Kest, a famous yogi who speaks so openly on this matter says, “Isn’t it our differences that make us beautiful?”
This shirt is my affirmation that no matter what anyone says, and no matter my shape or size, I am enough.
I think so. I just wish the rest of the world could understand it too. It doesn’t take a lot to be compassionate and kind, and understand that no two human beings will have the same exact body size and shape, but neither is inferior to the other.
Sorry, “Boo”. You do you and keep your ignorant opinions to yourself. The rest of us will keep on working on ourselves while Karma takes care of you!
This is my rant to the troll.