So Bruce and I are not the kind of people who live our lives according to other people’s standards. Most people would consider our marriage somewhat unconventional (not in any gross ways 😜 ), but to us, we have always just done what works for us. In the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, all of our friends had extravagant proposals followed by equally as lavish weddings. But not us… we opted for a trip to Vegas (just the two of us), a webcast (very cutting edge in the year 2000), and a casual celebration after the fact. And you know what? I wouldn’t have changed a single thing.
Random date night picture…
As we began approaching what most refer to as “mid-life”, we were falling deeper and deeper in love with each other, while many of our friends began divorcing, cheating, or both. Then, on a random Saturday “date night” in March of 2016, Bruce and I went to one of our favorite places in New Brunswick, where he got down on one knee and actually proposed to me (retroactively). It was, by far, the most romantic night of my life. We didn’t know at the time what the proposal meant for us, except that Bruce wanted to give me what everyone else got in our 20’s, and even though I never had regrets or doubts, on some level I always wanted him to declare his love for me in a personal way like all my girlfriends had experienced from their guys years before. Still, I wouldn’t have changed a single thing.
Here I am on the night of my proposal, walking on cloud 9 and admiring the beautiful engagement ring that Bru placed on my finger.
For a few weeks, we rode the high, feeling like a newly engaged couple despite having been together for over 20 years already… full of excitement and butterflies, the way it should be. But better. Because in my mind I knew that this guy of mine wanted to be married to me more than ever, even after so many curve balls that life had thrown our way. We talked a lot about how to acknowledge our “engagement” and what we discovered is that we wanted a wedding. And you know what? I wouldn’t change a single thing!
I still cant believe he orchestrated such a perfect proposal that I could never forget.
There is something very different about declaring your love publicly when you are just starting out your life together, than doing the same as established adults. For one thing, we can do everything the way we want to because we are in a different financial position than we were in our 20’s. We know what we want, what we like, and if anyone disagrees with us, we don’t care! So, months ago, we booked a venue that is very representative of who we are, and on our exact 20th wedding anniversary, we will finally have a wedding to celebrate our amazing life together with our family and friends. And I wouldn’t change a single thing.
Bruce has a countdown until our wedding day on his phone, and every once in a while he sends me a screen shot so I know how many days are left.
Suddenly I find myself watching bride shows like “Say Yes to the Dress” and “Four Weddings”. I spend time on Pinterest browsing wedding dresses, wedding hairstyles, wedding invitations, and anything else wedding related. It’s not like I can do too much because this isn’t happening until 2020! I even have a wedding planner/consultant (shout out to Dani!❤️ ), who is amazing at details and she keeps telling me we have to get to work. What do I know about this stuff? Nothing! Which is exactly why I need her, and I wouldn’t change a single thing!
This is what I know. I know that although we aren’t doing this in the “right” order, it is exactly the right order for us. I know that I want Bruce to see me in a wedding dress and be waiting for me at the end of the aisle. I want to declare my everlasting love for the guy I can’t live without in front of everyone. I know that I want to celebrate our love with those we hold dear. And although having a wedding after 20 years of marriage isn’t the way people normally do things, I know, without any doubts whatsoever, that I wouldn’t change a single thing.
