Relative

I hate it when people say to me that they feel bad complaining about things to me because “I deal with so much”. On the one hand it is kind of sweet of them to say that, but on the other hand, I’m still a human being and friend, and my problems don’t preclude me from being able to listen to others and offer my advice.

The truth of the matter is that everything, EVERYTHING is relative. I understand that on the surface people might think that their issues are unimportant but, as I always say, the only person you can compare yourself to is you. And that goes for every aspect of life. When one of my MS friends tells me that her knee actually started bending (after lots of hard work) when it hadn’t bent like that in years, I get so excited because relative to her past, it is huge. She may as well have run a marathon, as far as I’m concerned. I never compare anyone to me, nor do I compare myself to others. It’s all about personal progress, and the same goes for personal hardships.

I realize I have had my share of personal hardships, but I don’t look at things that way. I am of the mindset that my lot in life is exactly that: mine. It’s unfair to compare myself to anyone else, and if I did I would be a completely different person than I am today.

The fact of the matter is that I don’t look at other people and compare them to me, questioning why I have been dealt the hand I have while others have a seemingly “better” hand. Problems are problems, and like assholes, we all have them. Mine are no more important than anyone else’s, and in fact I’d venture to say that mine are easier because I’ve had to deal with so many through the years, and I have gotten pretty good at handling them in my usual glass-half-full way.

So it’s not like I’m saying I want more obstacles to overcome, but I never thought I’d appreciate them the way I do, because each one makes me a better version of me. The strength I’ve derived from all I’ve been through makes me a kinder, more sensitive, more understanding human being, and overcoming the bumps along the way is perhaps the most empowering feeling I have ever had.

The challenging parts of life are not easy, but the way we respond to them molds us into who we are. It’s unfortunate that so many people can’t see the beauty that awaits when you overcome those difficult times because it is powerful and we all deserve to experience that feeling. Plus giving up, for me, is simply not an option. We get to choose our fate (in a way) by how we handle our life circumstances. Why would anyone not choose empowerment over the alternative?

Lucky to have this guy who supports me through it all, which makes everything just a little easier.

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